THE PROCESS OF ATTACHMENT IS A LIFELONG ONE
Humans require each other, thus we want intimacy from the start, so to speak, from the minute we enter the world. And it is at this point that our attachment style emerges, which may have a catastrophic impact on all of our relationships, even those we have later in life."At this moment, attachment theory is acknowledged as one of the most fundamental and crucial ideas employed in most forms of psychotherapy."Integrative psychotherapy is equally important among them."
Attachment theory was developed by John Bowlby. He studied how different animal species act in the presence and absence of their mother and based on his results, he developed a theory. He discovered, among other things, that the attachment system created during childhood is carried over into adulthood and influences how we behave, think, reacts, and establish links.. (e.g. attachment to significant others, thinking about yourself and others, the environment...). Attachment is thus a lifetime process. In recent years, the hypothesis has been progressively explored, proven, and related to individual and interpersonal personality traits, defensive mechanisms, behavior, emotions, and thinking of individuals of all ages. In the context of neglect of the child's requirements, aggression, and other onerous situations, primary relationships are the most essential protective or risk factor for a child's development. The personality, which was created as a result of experiences and reactions from important persons and the environment, can be modified later in life by the construction of new or changed, healthier, corrective connections in the main family, partner relationship, or therapeutic process.
A youngster needs a reliable companion who will attend to his requirements and understand how to control his experience. The mother is, in theory, the main recipient of attachment. According to research, a mother's attachment type during pregnancy predicts the attachment style that her kid will eventually acquire. It's critical to meet the child's physical, psychological, emotional, and social requirements from birth. It's crucial that the mother consoles the baby when he cries, feeds him, puts him to sleep, plays with him, makes eye contact with him when nursing, is emotionally present and understands how to control his own emotions. These traits collectively define a secure attachment. The child will develop an insecure attachment (fearful-avoidant, dismissive-avoidant, preoccupied, or disorganized/unresolved) if the mother is not properly attuned to the child's needs, for example, if she yells at him, is violent, avoids eye contact, comforts him, is emotionally unavailable, dislikes physical contact, is inconsistent, is too attached to the child, does not allow him to explore, and/or is the intrusive basis of a stable connection, even as an adult, is early, loving, and secure ties with parents. On the other hand, a lack of good ties with one's parents can result in problems with one's mental health (depressive and anxiety symptoms are frequently present), partner relationships, and major self-doubt (negative self-image). The individual's assessment of the caliber of his or her relationship with his or her parent and the relationship between the parents served as the best predictors of the attachment type in adulthood. The genders did not significantly differ from one another. In adulthood, passionate love is an attachment process. It is a biopsychosocial process wherein emotional ties between two adult partners are created, much as how emotional ties are created between young children and their parents. People with a secure attachment style value intimacy, closeness, respect, and trust in their romantic relationships. Partner disputes are settled amicably. In comparison to the other three kinds, their relationships continue at least twice as long. These people are perceived by their friends as more sociable, happier, and more pleasant than persons who exhibit one of the other attachment patterns. An adult attachment type that is occupied (or anxious-ambivalent) could evolve as follows: Maternal care: The mother is inconsistent in how she gives care (for example, she will sometimes cuddle a crying child but other times leave the child alone because she thinks he can calm himself and ignores his needs); she pays more attention to her own needs than those of the child because her parents likely weren't attentive enough to her needs either, making her appear unreliable in the child's eyes. She may be very affectionate or quite severe at other times. Despite being inconsistent with the kid's signs and demands, she makes an effort to connect with the youngster.
Adult attachment and romantic attachment:
People who have developed preoccupied attachments are frequently concerned about whether or not their partner even likes them or wants to stay with them while they are in a relationship. They may frighten other individuals since they want to entirely integrate with them. People who are anxiously or ambivalently connected view love as an obsession. They go through a lot of emotional ups and downs, intense sexual desire, and jealousy in romantic relationships. They seek to satiate their desires for love and security via sex. They simply and swiftly fall in love. They are unsatisfied with the assistance and care they receive from others and give selfless, obsessive care to others. They frequently exhibit possessiveness and dependency.
Since research demonstrates the significance of the father as an object of attachment from the child's birth, there has been an increase in studies that examine the child-father connection as well as the mother-child relationship in recent years. According to research, a father is more likely to commit more crimes, become a parent sooner, be unemployed, misuse drugs, and do worse in school if he is not present, continuously active in the child's development, and meets the child's needs. It's crucial that the father forms a strong bond with the child and actively participates in the child's upbringing and care. If the kid has a safe relationship with both parents, his growth will be at its best (minimum depressive and anxiety symptoms). If the father isn't around, another masculine person with who he can also form a dependable relationship can fill the position. Boys are more impacted than girls by the lack of a father figure. According to some studies, males frequently switch their fathers for their mothers during late childhood and the beginning of adolescence since they are meant to relate with them better. If the father is frequently gone, the kid must have a safe relationship with the mother. However, the mother must be careful not to overprotect the child should he or she develop a psychological dependence on her. The youngster must have space for independence, exploration, and the acquisition of responsibility. A single mother can form a tight emotional bond with a boy kid, which might be detrimental to the boy's ability to experience normal emotional growth.
What kind of attachment styles are there, and how do they develop?
The kind of communication between parents and children has a significant impact on the sort of bond the kid will eventually form. Each kid may have a distinct attachment style for each parent since the natural attachment system is molded by experience. Later interactions may have an impact on the development of a new, safe type of attachment, which is defined by the ability to experience and express love, feeling, and freedom, if the child's environment was problematic. Research on various maternal-child attachment styles was conducted by Mary Ainsworth and her colleagues. Researchers established three types of attachment: secure, avoidant, and ambivalent via their study, known as the Strange Situation Experiment, which looked at the characteristics of a child's connection to its mother throughout the first year of life. There is a fourth, disorderly kind of attachment, according to Main and Solomon (1990). Bartholomew (1990) further distinguished two avoidant attachment coping mechanisms: the fearful-avoidant style, which is marked by apprehension about attachment, and the dismissive-avoidant style, which emphasizes independence and the insignificance of social connections.
The adult attachment has been described as follows:
I have a little issue developing strong emotional bonds with others. If I know I can rely on them and they can rely on me, I feel safe and secure. I have no anxiety about being alone or about being rejected by others.
Avoidant-shy: When interacting closely with others, I do not feel at ease. Even though I desire personal connections, it is difficult for me to entirely rely on and trust someone. I'm concerned that if I approach someone too closely, I'll get wounded.
Preoccupied: I desire total emotional intimacy with others, but frequently discover that others do not desire the same level of intimacy with me. Without personal ties, I don't feel well, and occasionally I fear that other people don't respect me as much as I do.
I feel fine without having strong emotional ties to other people, dismissive-avoidant. It's critical that I feel autonomous and self-sufficient and that others rely on me rather than the other way around.
I was subjected to sexual abuse as a young child. Naturally, the father continues to reside with the mother Micka (but the father is already dead). (Long pause)
Can the attachment style be altered, and how can our connections be strengthened?
Even later in life, the development of new or altered, healthier, corrective relationships in the primary family, partner relationship, or during psychotherapy can have an impact on the personality that was formed based on experiences and reactions from significant others and the environment.
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