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Showing posts from March, 2022

The Health Benefits of Shared Laughter

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    There is a blessing in the joy of shared laughter. Try it: get cartoons or jokes that pop up on your computer every day, share a joke you got via e-mail or talk to friends and co-workers about the funny scene in the latest hit movie. Laughter will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse, and generally help you and your friends and family to release a lot of stress. Experts on healing now say that laughter and humor, hope, and happiness are essential for any healing process. The benefits of laughter are numerous, and the existence of frequent, warm laughter in your relationships indicates that all is going well and gives you both confidence that problems can be overcome. If something frustrating is happening, try easing the tension with humor to change stress to silliness. Don't poke fun at your mate, but use shared humor as a way to say, "I know this is tough, but we'll get through it." Your mate will think of you as someone soothing and helpful to have around...

The Captivating Meaning of the Irish Claddagh Ring

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  Claddagh rings are rings and have a long history dating back to Roman times. The name "fede" derives from the Italian phrase mani in fede meaning loosely "hands joined in faith" or "hands joined in loyalty". The clasped hands were viewed as a promise ring used as an engagement ring or wedding ring in medieval and Renaissance Europe. The Irish Claddagh version of the fede ring has roots deeply seeded in long-standing Irish tradition. Claddaghs are world-renowned and are worn by both men and women, single or taken. The Irish Claddagh ring was named for the ancient fishing village of Claddagh, near Galway, Ireland, dating back to the 17th century. The Story of the Claddagh As the Irish legends go, Richard Joyce, of Galway, was seized by Algerian pirates and sold into slavery to a Moorish goldsmith. The Moorish goldsmith made Joyce a goldsmith apprentice. In the late 17th century, King William III demanded the immediate release of all British slavery subject...

Are You Too Keen to Fall in Love?

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   I suspect we all know people who simply have to be in a relationship. If one relationship ends they're immediately on the alert, desperately on the lookout for the next person to fill the vacancy in their life. Is this okay or do you think there's something wrong with being so keen to fall in love? Certain times of the year have the potential to be especially testing for single people; Christmas, Valentine's Day, birthdays, long weekends, events where couples are invited together can all accentuate the feeling of being alone and without a significant other. - Some people don't feel complete unless they have a special someone in their lives, someone to look after, care for, think about. They may even experience a physical incompleteness when they're unpartnered, a deep emptiness inside, where their need to be needed defines who they are. Their relationship with their significant other gives meaning to their lives. - But when a relationship ends it's often good...

The Importance of Differentiating Between Love and Infatuation in Relationships

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   In one of the local dailies, there's a popular segment where people usually seek advice on relationships or matters of the heart, and it is a must-read for many couples. I usually read it to get an insight into what really happens behind closed doors of many relationships and I must confess marriage as an institution is slowly crumbling before our eyes. Recently there was one lady who gave her age as 21 years whose story caught my attention bugging me into writing this article, she was lamenting about a situation that had befallen her and was seeking advice on what to do. She had fallen in Love with a married man who was also her boss, and at first, she thought it was lust but as days passed it matured to love. Now the gist was that her love interest was transferred to another workstation which meant more responsibilities for him and less time spent together but he always finds time for her whenever around. The prolonged absence as a result of his busy schedule was affecti...

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "Z" Is For Zeal

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 A great life demands a great response and a great capacity for enjoyment. Zeal is all that and more. It is more enthusiastic than enthusiasm, more glittery than gold, and brighter than sheer brilliance. It is a single-minded focus of energy that ignores or avoids nothing yet manages to steer clear of the worst detritus floating in the currents of life. Zeal is the zig and the zag of life, the zap of experience and the zowie of discovery. It is the ability to indulge without addiction, absorb without being consumed, and engage without being entangled. It sticks its tongue out at boredom and exhaustion. It good-naturedly drags doubts along the path, kicking and screaming, yet never abandons them to the dark. It is the energy that yanks you out of bed in the morning and the peace that lets you sleep at night. It is the spirit of life and the ecstasy of death. It is the core of a great life. What provokes your zeal? What dampens it? How can you bring more of the former and less of th...

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "G" Is For Gratitude

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 Here's a snippet from the growing field of "gratitude research" to chew on: "Grateful people are happier, more optimistic, more satisfied with their lives," says Michael McCullough, a University of Miami psychology professor. "They are more empathetic toward others. We even have a bit of evidence that grateful people are viewed as kinder, more helpful, and more supportive than less-grateful people." --Jeff Diamant, Your mind tends to thank you for feeling so thankful, The Star-Ledger, November 26, 2003, How's that for an incentive to learn the fine art of being grateful? But there are far better reasons than just personal benefit to be gained from the practice of gratitude. The article goes on to say that the studies cited not only indicate an influence on the person as a specific entity but also that "the findings have potentially profound ramifications on society." I would imagine so - if you have ever found yourself unable to keep fr...

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "O" Is For Openness

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 There are three facets of openness that we must embrace in our lives to have and enjoy a truly remarkable life. The first is experiential openness. By remaining open to the joys and passions of life, its unforeseen discoveries, and its predictable ebbs and flows, we can include and enjoy all the joyous treasures that this life has to offer. However, to be open to the good, we also have to risk leaving ourselves available to the bad, the hurtful, and the unhappiness. Fear of this side of openness encourages many of us to close off and retreat from the whole experience of life. But that way lies death, of the Spirit if not of the body - although science has repeatedly shown that the presence of a rich and varied life, complete with highs and lows, is a pervasive and robust indicator of long life vital health. The second facet of openness is the openness of the mind, the ability to think, to see all sides of an issue, and to remain capable of understanding, respect, and tolerance eve...

Enlightening Your Internal Environment: Do Unto Others

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 In this life, one thing we can be sure of is that not only is it not always about us, but it's also actually very rarely about us. It's about "them" - our friends, our community, our region, our country, and the world around us. We cannot function by ourselves, and we cannot succeed without the support of others. Likewise, they cannot succeed without us. Here are some ideas to help you get involved in the great communal effort to make the world a better place for everyone. 1. Volunteering is by far the best way to "keep your hand in." Not only are you doing essential work for whatever cause you to support, but you are also creating and strengthening those social ties that are most important to each of us in times of need. Indeed, you cannot pull another up without first joining hands - and this joining, once created, is almost impossible to break. By throwing your weight into the communal pull toward a better life, you join yourself to those around you in w...

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "C" Is For Create

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 The act of creation - bringing forth that which is within us outward into the world, in material or ethereal form - is a vital part of a rich and fulfilling life. Yet, unfortunately, it is a part of our lives that is often stifled well before we are old enough to realize its true meaning in our lives and far before we are capable of understanding its actual value. When most people say that they feel empty or unfulfilled, what they are often missing is that necessary dose of vitamin "C." Instead, they spend most of their time numbly floating along in the current of mundane and often mindless activities that make up their day without ever allowing themselves to express themselves freely or just let who they are out into their world. But each of us needs this generative spoonful of sugar to help the medicinal parts of our lives go down easier and smoother. Without it, our life consumes us, rather than reflecting and supporting us. How are you enabling the creator to have the fr...

Write On

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 Expressing yourself in writing can be a cathartic and rejuvenating practice. Whether it's deathless prose or undying tripe, it is often the one thing that keeps otherwise unrelieved emotions from destroying the vessel that holds them. So here are a few suggestions for discovering the power of the pen in your own life: 1. Using attractive bits of homemade or otherwise inspiring paper, write out 20 or more "emergency affirmations" and keep them folded up in a beautiful bowl or basket. Then, when an attack of the "too bad, so sad" doldrums has you down, pull out one or two and let their power buoy you up. 2. Buy a cheap journal or notebook and write out all your worst thoughts and blackest fantasies. Keep it hidden away in a private place until complete, then ritually burn it to destroy all that horror in the heat of the purifying flames. If it still leaves an "aftertaste," take the ashes outside and bury them under a tree where they can nurture its grow...

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "X" Is For Xtreme

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 No, that's not a typo or a "fudge" to fit something into the "X" slot that doesn't start with the letter itself. Instead, there is a marked difference in our cultural lexicon between "extreme" and "Xtreme." "Extreme" is a correct word, accurate enough, meaning over the top, to the limit, or as far as you can go. But many people, especially sports fanatics, have coined the term "Xtreme" as a way of describing something that goes beyond the extreme and into the realm of sheer potential and possibility, that goes beyond the illegal limits, that pushes them further than they have gone before. And there's something more, too, in the meaning of the word - a spirit of raw life lived on the edge of perfection and brilliance; the creation of a space where time slows, the mind reels, and the spirit sing. Bringing the concept of "Xtreme" into your life opens you up to a whole new realm of experience. Refusing to ac...

Free Your Mind

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 As the commercial reminds us, a mind is indeed a terrible thing to waste. But too often, we are content to let our gifts and abilities wither on the vine if it keeps us from verging too close to the unfamiliar and the unknown. But that way lies the path of dullness and boredom. So here are some steps you can take to "freshen up" your mental hygiene and get back on the track of clean and clear thinking in your life. 1. Mediation is one of the best ways to calm, clear, and control your mind. Meditation makes no difference, whether you choose to breathe, walk, transcendental, tantric, or soap-bubbles-in-the-sun reflection. Explore a bit, see what feels suitable for you, and stick with it. The clarity and focus you receive will be worth the effort required. 2. Take up a hobby or activity without thinking about attaining perfection. Find one that is challenging enough to test your mettle but accessible enough so that you don't get frustrated and walk away. Try something compl...

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "E" Is For Enough

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 One way to live an extraordinary life is to understand and embrace the concept of enough. Like the story of the dog in the manger who growled at the livestock attempting to eat, by taking more than you need or can responsibly use, you hoard the blessings of life in such a way that neither you nor anyone else can enjoy them. We all have the right to a sound and pleasant shelter, to adequate and comfortable clothing, to meaningful and sustainable work, and to healthy quantities of tasty and lovingly-prepared food. But none of us, however privileged, have the right to keep these things from another under our own gluttony - our inability to push away from the table of life after a moderate and enjoyable repast. Ironically, this is the one thing that most of us agree on, but yet the one thing that we seem incapable of doing. Instead, we treat our bodies poorly, eating foods that impoverish both ourselves and the very lands they were raised on, then demand expensive relief and repair wh...

Environment: Talk To Me

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 Our language and how we use it affect who we are and how we live. Our words color our experience just as our experience colors our terms. Sometimes it's hard to understand just how much of a difference a vocabulary change can make until you try it. Here are a few options for you to consider: 1. Become a mobile no-fire zone. Eliminate negative habits such as sarcasm, denigrating language, hate, spite, and anger from your vocabulary, and inform those around you that you no longer accept such negativity in your interactions with them. Of course, bad things happen, and bad news is part of life. Still, there are ways to convey adverse events without adding to their potency by couching them in spiteful, petty, destructive, or insensitive language. Turn off the news - you'd be surprised how well-informed you can stay just by listening to the everyday conversations taking place around you - and by then, the doom-and-gloom delivery and "red alert" crisis immediacy has been si...

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "M" Is For Meaning

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 One of the cornerstones of an extraordinary life is meaning - the richness, purposefulness, and direction that stem from knowing that what you do and who you are matters deeply. So how do you achieve a life of meaning? Simply this - you make a conscious decision every day to... ...engage in those activities that actively enrich, rather than actively or passively detract, from your life and the lives of those around you, ...bring into your life sources of inspiration, exaltation, and exhilaration, ...dedicate your life to working for the common good, rather than the individual preference, ...and live in integrity with your values 24/7, neither denying them nor reserving them for specific days or specific activities. Of course, this means giving up certain things. For example, you must give up your attachment to the outcome, knowing that sometimes what should be and what will be is not always what you would prefer or what feels good to you. You must give up the little chase for the ...

Read Faster, Read Smarter

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 The Internet is a new continent where the maps are constantly changing. What was a small stream becomes a roaring river. What was a desert becomes a lush green valley. To keep up with the changing landscape of the Internet, you must read. And the best place to read about new developments on the Internet is in Newsletters or Ezines. But you may not be reading efficiently. Did you know that most of us use only 4% to 10% of our mental abilities? Speed reading is not just about reading faster; it's about learning to use much more of the extraordinary powers of the Mind. When you read, are you aware of an inner voice following the words as your eyes move across the page or the computer screen? This inner voice is called. 'subvocalization.' You probably experience it as a slight movement in the tongue or throat region. As long as you subvocalize, you limit your reading to the speed of everyday speech to about 300 w.p.m. The Mind is capable of thinking much faster than that. So w...

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "R" Is For Respect

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 A great life is based on respect - respect for others, self, and spirit. You must be able to demand respect from others, teach them what that means to you, and refuse to allow them to treat you otherwise. Likewise, you must offer the same to those around you, in full measure, without exception or restraint. Genuine respect does not demand that someone change to meet your approval first, and you should not bow to others' demands of the shift from you. But what of those who will not give respect or those whom you cannot respect yourself? In the former case, you simply must remove yourself from their presence as much as possible, even to the extent of leaving a job, a friendship, or even a family relationship. Allowing others to treat you disrespectfully will diminish who you can be and what you can offer the world. It will eat away at your strength and distract you from your goals by drawing away the needed focus and energy to deal with and clean up after the effects of their bad be...

Prescription for Simplicity

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 "Pooh," said Christopher Robin, "where did you find that pole?" Pooh looked at the pole in his hands. "I just found it," he said. "I thought it ought to be useful, so I just picked it up." ~Pooh Book of Quotations What things have you found (or acquired) that you thought might be useful? What sweet stuff lurks on, in, or under your desk, bed, closets, or drawers? Consider this: If it is buried behind closed doors, under the desk, or stuffed in the junk drawer, then how valuable and how useful can it be to you or anyone else? You can find extra hours in your day and extra money in your pockets simply by intensifying your simplification skills. Are you like Winnie-the-Pooh? Do you find stuff that ought to be helpful and then spend time and money to store it, clean it, repair it, insure it, and worry over it? Let me share with you some insights that I have learned along my simplicity journey. -- Nothing in my drawers or closets got there by acciden...

The ABC's Of A Great Life: "T" Is For Truth

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 Now, I am not one of those who will tell you that to have a great life, you have to tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth, all day and every day, so help you, God. That's flat-out impossible and not a little bit wrong. The little white lies that allow us to avoid hurting one another, the ability to leave out parts of an otherwise honest assessment that are irrelevant and potentially destructive, and the ability to know something genuine and not say anything at all, because it is neither our business nor our place to do so, are vital skills that help create a great life, rather than preclude it. Instead, truth, in this case, means knowing what is good and honest and trustworthy about yourself and your life. It knows what is authentic for you, what upholds your integrity, and diminishes it. It understands what is true for you in any situation. It also understands that this may not be true for anyone involved in the same case - and that this variance in truth is both expected ...