We live in a lie - we lie to ourselves to better deceive others

 People are misled every day. We tell ourselves that we are more intelligent and more beautiful than our friends, that the political party we support can not make mistakes, that we are too busy to help our colleagues. We deceive ourselves into deceiving others by creating a social advantage.

Psychologists have identified several ways to deceive ourselves: gathering biased information, biased reasoning, and little memories. Let's focus on the first - the way we look for information that supports what we want to believe while avoiding those that do not.

In one experiment, 306 participants wrote a convincing speech about a fictional man named Mark. They were told they would receive a bonus depending on how practical the lesson was. Some of them were said to present Marko as likable, others were told to deliver him as disliked, and others were said to convey the impression they would form of him. To gather information about Marko, participants watched a series of short videos, which they could stop watching whenever they wanted. In the first group, most of the first videos presented represented Mark in a good light (recycling, returning a lost wallet, etc.) and gradually began to show him in a bad light (whistling for women, hitting a friend, etc.). The presented videos represented Marko from bad to good morning in the second group.

When stimulated to portray Mark as likable, the first group of people was the first to stop watching the videos. They did not wait to see the whole picture until they received the necessary information to convince themselves and others of Mark's goodness. Their views and opinions about Mark were positive, making their essays on his excellent nature more convincing. The exciting thing is that we intuitively understand that if we believe in something, we will be able to convince others much easier and more effectively. Thus, we process information biased.

In real life, you are not paid to talk about Marko. Still, you can sell a used car, debate tax policy, or discuss promotion - cases in which you do not benefit from presenting a clear and precise picture but from convincing someone of a particular aspect.

One of the most common types of self-deception is self-assessment. Psychologists claim that we have evolved to overestimate our good qualities because they do not feel good. But that has no bearing on survival or reproduction. Another claim is that self-esteem increases motivation leading to greater realization. But if motivation were the goal, then we would have evolved to be more motivated without the consequences of distorting reality.

Overconfident people are perceived as more competent and have a higher social status. This raises the question of whether overconfidence increases mental health? The motivation? Popularity?

1000 high school students were monitored for two years. The researchers found that over time, too much self-confidence in a high school student's athletic ability or too much self-confidence in intelligence resulted in neither better mental health nor better athletic or academic performance. However, muscular self-confidence leads to more incredible popularity over time, supporting the idea that self-deception is a social advantage. On the other hand, intellectual self-esteem does not increase in popularity because, among teenagers, sport is more important than intelligence.

The advice is this: If you need to convince someone if your career or social success depends on persuasion, then the first person who needs to be confident is you. On the defensive side, when someone tries to convince you of something, think about what might motivate that person. Even if he does not lie to you, he can deceive himself and thus you.