Attract Anyone by this 10 sec . rule
Drawing from body language facial expressions and tone of voice your brain creates a quick and simple interpretation of everyone you meet and you use that interpretation whether positive or negative to understand how you relate to and communicate with new people if for example let's say you encounter a person wearing a tee-shirt from a TV show you just cannot stand when your brain sees their T. shirts and a logo from your least favorite show it makes a series of logical judgments about their personality their tastes and the kind of activities they enjoy sense you like different shows you may assume you have nothing in common you may assume they have bad taste or that your personalities may clash none of these things may be true but your brain makes those black and white judgments anyway and those judgments impact the strength or weakness of your connection now obviously your brain is busy during the first 10 seconds it's scanning the other person for any number of queues quickly assembling your interpretation of who they are. But to some extent, you can control the way others judge and interpret your personality. We call this making a good first impression. Ultimately the 10-second rule, the 8-second rule even the 17-second rule are all different names for the same thing. People are making quick judgments about who you are. The right judgments can kickstart a strong connection, but the wrong judgments can scare people away, so what is it in the first 8 Tanner 17 seconds that people latch onto. What makes the first impression, good or bad strong or weak attractive or unattractive in the first 10 seconds? Your brain searches for something called generally appealing traits generally appealing trait is something you find attractive on the surface. In other words, there the shallow characteristics that make one person more appealing or attractive than another. Generally appealing traits can vary wildly for some people height athleticism and good hygiene check all their boxes other people latch on to personality traits like extraversion a sense of humor or a confident demeanor discussing every single one of these traits would be a waste of time not because their own importance but because they're really really unreliable you see your brain is well practiced at making quick judgments but that doesn't mean it's accurate someone may judge you as close minded when you're the most open minded person you know in the same vein someone might say you're too short while other people might say you're too tall just think about that T. shirt you instantly dislike for you that was a turn off you lost interest after saying that shirts but another person may react completely different they may be big fans of the TV show they may see that shirt and think I've found the love of my life they make a string of positive assumptions they're convinced they have all the same hobbies similar personalities and like minded values but just like your assumptions about this person were wrong their assumptions may be equally misguided. In the first 10 seconds of every interaction you make dozens maybe hundreds of quick decisions but only about 30 percent of those decisions are accurate in other words you're physically and emotionally missed judging people around 70 percent of the time wow yet most people stick to their guns once they make up their mind about you it can be very difficult to change their thinking because those judgments aren't random each assumption you make is influenced by a diverse spectrum of variables like your experiences your mood and your past relationships for example if your last partner was obnoxious and rude and they happen to where a lot of hats you might associate hats with self centered personalities so how do you make yourself more attractive if beauty is in the eye of the beholder everyone interprets things differently and you only have 10 seconds to make a strong first impression how do you attract the people you meet how do you use the 10 second rule to your advantage
I'm going to give you a piece of advice that many people don't like to hear the quality of your first impression is not up to you it's not something you can control perfect or streamline so just take the pressure off your shoulders because you like most people are putting way too much weight on something that is largely out of your hands often people ruin their first impressions because they try to control the assumptions that other people make they want to project a specific persona they tried to convince other people that there's something that they're not but the truth is other people's judgments are rarely influenced by changes you make especially in the first 10 seconds so if you want to attract new people and make stronger impressions don't worry about what other people thank you instead worry about what you think of yourself. Have you ever heard the phrase keep it simple stupid it's a great piece of advice and a variety of fields but it's especially important here other people are making extremely shallow judgements of you based on factors that you really can't control that's why
in the first 10 seconds the most attractive people don't look like anything special in fact they look relatively normal this can be a huge surprise for people who struggle with their confidence or self image maybe you've gone out of your way change your personality or worn some outrageous outfit to make a lasting memorable impressions on others but the truth is most people aren't looking for someone who's different from everyone else in the world you don't have to be special individual or one of a kind in other words you don't need to be the most muscular person in the room or the most confident you don't need to be overflowing with well for the center of attention instead keep it simple because during the first 10 seconds simplicity is all anyone is looking for pick up lines are a great example many guys worry about delivering an opening line that no one is ever heard before you try so hard to be funny memorable and confident but those lines almost always fall flat on the other hand countless men find success with simple introductions like hi how are you 4 do you mind if I sit here why does this work because people aren't expecting the world from you in the first 10 seconds they aren't asking for out liars or extremes they're looking for someone who checks their boxes doesn't try too hard and knows who they are to take advantage of the 10 second rule be a version of yourself that you are happy with don't change yourself into something you're not don't manipulate other peoples perspective of you instead try your best to look and feel like an accurate representation of who you are because ultimately that's all you can be. E. if you present a version of yourself that makes you happy and you don't check their boxes well, there's really nothing you can do, but you may discover that less is often more flying when it comes to attraction. It's simple can and is often the quickest route to romantic success. Now, of course, keeping it simple doesn't guarantee your first 10 seconds go smoothly every time there is so much trial and error in this process that you're bound to fail at some point. Luckily some variables influence how often your first impressions land the way you want context.
For example, it completely changes the way people perceive you. Some people make great first impressions in quiet places like parks and coffee shops, but terrible impressions at parties and social events. It's important to understand which environments cater to your strengths and which environments throw you off your game. This may sound complicated, but it's easy to determine where you make the best impressions. Simply ask yourself, where do I feel the most comfortable when you're in your element doing something that makes you feel calm and confident? Your attractiveness skyrockets your confidence becomes obvious to everyone you meet, drawing people to you and making you a more attractive individual. The opposite is true of unfamiliar, uncomfortable environments if you dislike parties. For example, it's difficult to hide how uncomfortable you are. People will notice you're in security, and they may feel like you're trying too hard, so they won't see the same attractive qualities. We've covered a lot of information in this presentation so let's review the first 10 seconds 7 interactions can make or break your connection. During those 10 seconds, we make all kinds of judgments, assumptions, and decisions that predict romantic successes and our failures, but the best way to improve your chances isn't a changer identity; instead, keep it simple be someone that honestly represents who you are going places that capture what you're like because ultimately the first 10 seconds or rapid success of inaccurate and unreliable decisions which can be wrong around 70 percent of the time. So instead of catering to other people's preferences, cater to your home. He's someone you like, and other people like you back. Hey, thank you for watching top thinking. Be sure to subscribe because more great content is on the way.
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