Are you addicted to condemnation?

 Of all the miraculous series of possible thoughts, negative judgment (attitude) about oneself and others are one of the mind's compulsive obsessions. It is as if the human brain has a hyperactive gland that secretes condemnation, just as the adrenal gland secretes adrenaline. Negative condemnation can occur instantly and for almost anything. Sometimes they focus exclusively on you and sometimes highly on others.

Exercise: Exploring convictions

If you allow critical judgments to remain unexplored, they can occupy your thoughts and emotions and even your dreams. But if you research them, you will come across recurring themes related to previous life events. For example, you will find that even your judgments (opinions) towards others often stem from self-condemnation or some events that have happened to you before. Life, sometimes while you were very young.

-Be present in the moment and breathe consciously for at least 5 minutes

Remind yourself of a condemnation - try if you can remember what you or someone else has condemned yourself to in the last few days.

-Note the feelings in the body - feel if there is a physical component, something you feel in your body. For example, spend a few minutes exploring how your body reacts when reminded of condemnation.

Investigate the thoughts that accompany condemnation - is there anything automatic in the way you pass judgment? For example, was the curse a reaction to something or someone? Next, investigate the thoughts that arise regarding condemnation.

-Note your observing mind - the part of you that explores condemnation does not condemn anything but only observes bodily feelings, emotions, and thoughts with balance and curiosity.

-Remind yourself if this condemnation has occurred before and if it happens often - if it usually occurs, do you know why you have such a strong automatic reaction? Can you guess where it comes from?

Write down the ideas that come to mind - take some time to write down what happened to you while researching the condemnations. For example, what types of physical feelings and emotions are associated with different judgments? Will you discover any connection between convictions and previous life events?

Try doing this exercise the next time you realize you have a strong critical reaction to someone. First, try to notice how you feel. Many of the condemnations we make of others have their roots in the painful events of the past. These types of convictions call for an in-depth and personal impartial investigation.

Deactivation of convictions

Condemnations are like bombs that can be triggered by life events. Imagine that you are in a store, and you see a mother hitting her child on the arm, and the child feels humiliated when he sees that you have noticed. Or imagine someone overtaking you at an intersection and passing in front of you while you get a red light. Imagine a scenario where your spouse criticizes your cleaning. These events can provoke strong condemnation and anger.

Negative judgments can explode in our minds at any moment and overcome us with immediate and emotionally significant condemnation of others or ourselves. The body convulses, blood pressure rises, breathing becomes rapid and shallow. The urge to say or do something can prevail. In these moments, we can speak words that we will regret and hurt someone else or ourselves. Many of us have an extremely "short fuse" when similar events happen over and over again, and our reactions can be like bombs exploding almost instantly.

Rapidly exploding bombs are often found in our relationships with other people. Politicians and foreigners in traffic are often the sources of small and frequent reactions that come and go like firecrackers. But also, our love affairs can cause significant explosive responses. Harsh words can have far-reaching consequences.

Because love relationships are intimate in nature, they can produce emotional reactions tied to previous traumatic interpersonal events. This is one of the reasons why these relationships are so full of projections. Projections are the defense mechanisms of the ego, which work mainly unconsciously and impose on current relationships emotional injuries from previous close relationships, such as with our mothers, fathers, or first love. Although we are not usually aware of our projections, we can learn a lot about them if we are willing to investigate our condemnations to deactivate them.